My own little world

Is it so bad to want to be alone often? It seems that, from the main cousins (and family adults), I'm the only one who does not feel the constant need to be driving around, drinking, talking non-stop, being surrounded by people, and looking for trends. Give me a couple of movies (optional), my computer (internet, duh), my music, shut me in a room, and I'm all set. Especially when I'm being burned down by my social-butterfly cousin. We've been at it all week, drinking and being with her friends. I've had to practically starve myself to make up for the extra calories I've had from the alcohol. And her zone is not mine. If I'm not in my comfort zone, with my music (my sis and cousins like the only music genres/groups I despise T.T. Go figure.), my people etc... at least I have to be dancing.... and I haven't been able to do that when I go out with my cousin, so by 9:30 I'm unbelievably sleepy. I have fun for some 30 minutes, then I start going downhill.

Going to Susy yujo-chan's house was relieving (she's even more withdrawn). Sushi was great, we had plenty and it was affordable (I'm on a budget). Watching movies was fun. Going to the opera was great.
Today I'm going again chez Susy, but this time the gang will be there too, so it'll be fun. Listening to good music, eating pizza, catching up on all that has happened since I left, maybe cooking a little if they let me loose in the kitchen hehe. [Too bad Danny isn't here, we need him to complete our group... but he just HAD to go to Germany this summer/semester :P. Ah well, I'll see him hopefully once I go to London and convince Martha and Kim to go meet up with him. He'll want to shoot himself, but that's the price he'll have to pay to see me again (jaja no te esponjes, palomita, si lees esto). We kept missing each other for almost 2 yrs now and I want my bff-guy, so this meeting is a must. ]

Around 11pm, cousin will pick me up so that I go hang out with her and her bf... weee for the third wheel. Sigh.
Have I mentioned that I was food poisoned for a couple of days? T____T My uncle had the nerve to complain that I was all day in bed. Well duh!. As a nice in-your-face, I shot a standing toothpick with his rifle. Precise, well-aligned rifle with a kick-ass scope (gazing-thingy being its new name, patented by me XD).

Yesterday was relaxing for me, though I don't think my uncle appreciated the fact that I locked myself again. I'm sorry, but I HAD to sing. Can't unwind myself otherwise. I feel trapped because this isn't my house. Singing is my release... That, and watching Sweeney Todd. I can't believe all my sister and cousin2 could say about the movie was "it's really weird..."

Mum says I need to work on my tolerance. F tolerance. I was tolerant enough during college time, I don't need this in my own family, where THEY (the whole family, not just the girls) aren't tolerant towards me. Once the omg-she-came-back-yay mood is over, my dad's family will go at it again and start the criticism and cruel jokes. Meh. See if I care to go visit then. I'm sick of all the back-stabbing within my family...even if some of it is rather petty, it is still infuriating that they'll do it to their own.


I think I'm done with my rant for the day... or maybe not. I'll edit later if I need to add something.

See, this is why I don't like to update blogs... they end up being a tirade of complaints and bs. And bs occludes my creativity...so no poems or paintings for a while...

~tata